We openly drink in our home, on weekends, during get-togethers, you know brunch and dinner type stuff.
My 17 YO daughter has been on restriction for the last two weeks, following an incident involving alcohol.
My guilt was getting the best of me, I thought to myself, maybe I’ve been a terrible influence, maybe I should stop. I even considered throwing out the alcohol we have in our home.
I pushed the guilt out of my head and decided that while I may be a weekend drinker,
mimosas with brunch
wine with dinner
a beer at a ball game
a margarita for happy hour
I’ve earned that right. I work hard and I provide so if I want to have a fuckin drink I will have a drink or two or three.
She will not. Not until she is 21 and able to pay for her own alcohol.
As I pondered this I asked myself, who’s really being punished here?
Why do I feel guilty?
I feel suffocated, I gave her so much freedom, too much trust. It was easy for my boyfriend and me to escape on a Friday night and go have dinner and now, I don’t even want to leave her home alone for 20 minutes.
She hasn’t had her phone and it is like I have a toddler again.
All of the sudden she remembered she had a mom.
I can’t shower or pee without an interruption.
She says I’m being dramatic and Its not fair, she made a mistake and I’m going overboard.
“It’s not fair.”
She’s totally and absolutely right that it’s not fair.
It’s not fair that I can’t leave my 17-year-old home alone because I don’t trust her.
It’s not fair that I, her mother, had to drive her to the emergency room because I was terrified of what could have been in her system.
It’s not fair that I’ve lost a piece of my sanity, my peace of mind.
It’s not fair but it’s life.
I realize she is going to make these mistakes but it’s my job to ensure that these mistakes impact her life in a positive way, in a way that will teach a life lesson.
Your choices have consequences.
It’s been a long two weeks, for both of us.