Besties lead to Bullies?

Last week, as I was getting ready for work, I was watching Good Morning America and they shared a piece about a woman who removed her child from preschool because the school banned the use of the word BFF.

I stopped what I was doing to watch the piece when Natalie walked in and began watching with me. She rolled her eyes as they explained that the use of the word BFF promotes cliques and leads to feelings of exclusion and bullying in some cases.

“Ridiculous right?” I asked her, curious as to what she had to say.

“Banning the word is not going to stop friendships from forming and they shouldn’t make a positive thing in school so negative.”

She is 100% correct.

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When did having BFF’s become a negative thing? I don’t know about you guys but my BFF’s helped me survive high school and beyond. My relationships with these women became so rooted that I don’t call them my Best Friends, I call them my Soul Mates. These relationships were formed in school and while yes, maybe people were intimidated or thought they may not have been part of the circle, it wasn’t intentional. It’s a part of life.

We keep removing the situations that build character and build personal strength and confidence.

Natalie then proceeded to tell me that the current senior class at her school would be the last to have seniors graduating in white and they would be the last class to have a valedictorian.

WTF.

What about these kids who have built their school careers in the hopes of graduating in all white and/or potentially being valedictorian? Is this not ridiculous? Why remove the competitive spirit? Will this competitiveness be removed from the workplace or real-life situations? NO, of course not.

We as a society complain about bullies but we are softening the future generations. Not all kids deserve a trophy at the end of the soccer season and the ones that do should shine, not because they are better people but because they have worked on their craft and/or they have god given talent.

You can’t excel in all aspects of life so where you do thrive you should be recognized.

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Let kids have best friends, let them enjoy their youth and form bonds that will help form them. Don’t be negative about positive things. Not everyone in life is going to like you and kids should learn that early on, it’s not mean, it’s real.

Why remove the reward from high school graduation? You are uninspiring our kids!

We are going to be stuck with a generation that lacks a competitive drive and whines about life not being fair because they were coddled and overprotected.

For the record, I understand not all situations are easy and some kids react differently to certain situations, this is why parents need to instill confidence in the home. I’m not an expert and my kids not perfect but she understands the concept of real life. She gets that no one is going to hand her an education or a paycheck, she is going to have to work for it and compete for top dollar.

Reality slaps you hard when you enter the real world, let’s not remove the core of what makes us able to stay standing.

These are my personal thoughts and opinions. I’d love to hear yours! Comment below!

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Karma

Karma…is she not magnificent?

When you least expect it she comes and kicks your ass or in the best case scenario, she redeems you in the perfect moment.

Why do I say she? Well let’s be real, only a woman could be so vengeful, only a woman could perfectly time sweet revenge or validation.

Whether Karma is coming to your defense or to completely ruin your life, she’s coming.pexels-photo-212410.jpeg

As most of you know, I have been writing a book entitled “Do you love yourself, enough to love yourself?” 12 steps to getting you out from under him and finally getting the fu$k over him! In this how-to, help book of sorts, I ask that you list 5 reasons why you need to let him go. I’m going to help you and provide you with one reason, KARMA.

Yes, ladies, karma should be the number one reason you let go and let him be. Sometimes relationships don’t work and that’s ok, even if you have a kid or two or three! When a man is not meant for you and you hold on you are creating instant karma. He is not for you.

Repeat after me,

“He is not for me, God knows why even if I don’t”

How is that bad or negative karma? It’s simple, if you’re really honest with yourself you know exactly why things are over or why they never truly began in some cases, so go over those reasons and then insert the karmic effects.

♠ You were the other woman, whether you knew or not, karma will come back for you. (or vice versa)

♠ You lied to him, you cheated on him or vice versa, karma will have her way with you and if it was him doing the lying and cheating, karma will validate you, you just have to step aside and let her do her work.

♠ You’re not in the same headspace, you can’t see eye to eye, you want more than he’s willing to give you.. or vice versa. Karma knows when and how she will remind you of the man you could not let go, she will remind you how you made his life difficult because he wasn’t ready. Or the total opposite, she will validate you.

 

Let go of him for you, for your karmic bank. Fill that account with nothing but ROI’s!

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Seriously, if a man is truly meant for you, even a break or time apart won’t change that. Let time and karma do what they do.

 

PS. I will be giving away 5 copies of my latest book, “Do you love yourself enough to love yourself?” Like the post, leave a comment, share on your social, subscribe to the blog via email whichever one (or all) works for you to be entered!! Thank you lovelies!!

 

Soul Mates Matter

A soul mate by definition is 1: a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament. 2: a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs; ideological soul mates.

Carrie Bradshaw once said,

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

The woman is a genius.

How is it that a man would find himself perfectly suited to a woman in temperament?

Maybe a man and a woman could have similar attitudes and beliefs but I do not believe we are suited in temperament.

Men and women are different, built differently, we vibe off each other in that sentiment.

With that being said, your soul mate is not a man silly.

Your soul mate has been by your side as the men have come and gone from your life.

Your soul mate has never judged you, instead has told you exactly what you did not want to hear and then supported you when you went ahead and did what you wanted to anyway.

Never, not once has she abandoned you, maybe given you some space because let’s be honest, you needed it.

I am a lucky woman, you see I do not have a soul mate, I have soul mates.♥

Women who have made my journey through life a little less rocky and a lot more enjoyable.

My soul mates have hung tight through bouts of selfishness and immaturity and I’d like to say that I have done the same.

Every tribe of women has within it specific rolls that each soul mate fills, these rolls intertwine with one another creating this tribe that holds strong through all the dramatic bullshit life likes to throw your way.

We have the mature and responsible one, the one who maintained a job while going to school and made sure we all got home in one piece.

Even on nights, we didn’t want to.

 

Which one of your soul mates is the loud and overly dramatic one, maybe a couple of you have this role locked down?

Then you’ve got the ambitious one of the bunch, the one who will one day be famous, if not for her talents but for murder or fraud.. me, you or her?

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And then you’ve got the floater.

You love her dearly and trust her with your life and her having her own social circle outside of your tribe is totally acceptable.

The reality is anyone of these descriptions could fit you or anyone of your soul mates, my point being you are all suited to each other in temperament.

Soul mates by the utter definition of the word.

No relationship is easy to maintain, especially not one that involves several women.

We say mean things about each other, to each other.

We voice our opinions often and without fear because we are suited to do so.

Now you may be thinking that you could pinpoint one woman to each definition but sit and think about it, you are all one in the same. You are all responsible when necessary, you have all been crazy and dramatic, you’re all ambitious in life and you have created friendships and relationships outside of your safe zone.

Women are unique by nature, predictable at times and at other times we have moments in life that even throw our soul mates for a loop.

On many occasions, we have thrown each other for complete and total loops. Doing things that we ourselves had not anticipated but life gave us choices and we made decisions.

My soul mates are many miles from me but when I see them we pick up right where we left off. Life and time have kept moving as it always will, bringing with it, boyfriends, husbands, babies, divorces, and relocations.

Hold onto these women, love and appreciate them because like all relationships, they took work, time and effort.

What is your longest running friendship?

Can you see yourself without these women?