Ready, set, spend!

I know, the holidays are about family and good food. I’m all for that quality time and extra weight gain, what I’m not about is the added stress and the possible hike in my debt.

How many of us overextend to get through the holidays?

From outfits to gifts, to food preparation to the extra fancy wrapping paper that gets ripped up? It’s exhausting and mentally draining but we do it because we love our families…. right?

Or perhaps you’re trying to keep up with the Kardashian’s?

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No thanks, I’ll keep it simple and minimal this year. My goal for the 2018 holidays is to make it through the season without using any credit cards, for some that might seem like the simplest task and for others, like myself, it might be something that takes a great deal of effort.

My plan is to set a limit per person and set a budget in total. Sooo hard to do considering I have a child who is about to turn 18 and I desperately want to go nuts this holiday season!!!

Let me flip my perspective, I have a soon to be 18 year old who will be going off to college next year… hmmmm I think I’ll spend wisely.

Switch up your perspective and remember the true meaning of this holiday season.

Don’t overextend yourself. So much family, not enough time. It’s ok, those who love you get it and those who don’t, well, they don’t matter. (Truth)

Don’t overspend. Be realistic about your budget, don’t use your credit cards, in fact, take them out of your wallet right now! I know some credit cards offer enticing insensitive’s but if you don’t have the self-control or the ability to pay it right down, don’t do it. Trust me.

The people closest to you know your true financial situation, no one is expecting a Rolex or a car from you, it’s ok.

Our friends and family know we’re trying to purchase a home, they’re supporting us and I’m sure they would understand if our gifts weren’t extravagant this year, again, it should never be about that anyway.

At the end of the day, cherish the time spent and the memories made.

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Appreciate what you get and acknowledge that not everyone is riding the same financial wave.

Cheers to you and yours and may the holidays bring you love and happiness.

And if you’re truly lucky, what you’ve been asking Santa for all year! 😉

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Porn and your relationship.

You come home from work to find your significant other passed out on the sofa, the iPad next to them. You pick up the iPad with no intention of browsing through the history and yet somehow you find deleted porn sites in your browser’s history?

Are you angry? Is it funny? What true emotions does this moment evoke from you?

I guess it’s a matter of preference, some couples watch porn together but even if you are open to that, are you open to your SO other watching without you?

Is it the fact that this person is watching porn or is it the fact that they are trying to hide it? Which would anger or hurt you more?

According to an article from Fightthenewdrug.org porn sites receive more regular traffic than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined each month!! WOW. The article also stated that people who had extramarital affairs were 300% more likely to admit consuming porn than those who never had an affair. Check the website out for yourself, it’s got some interesting stats and info. The name of the website itself is on point about today’s world.

In my opinion, porn is a negative, not just in relationships but with your own self-loving relationship.

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We’re told that it’s normal for boys to look at dirty magazines and watch naughty movies, growing up I remember being online and seeing pop-ups for porn sites, my curiosity getting the best of me I would click on it. It made me feel uncomfortable and then it made me feel a certain way, ya know, and then I felt shame.

Shame for looking at it and then shame for getting that “weird feeling”.

Now, as a grown woman, I know porn doesn’t do it for me and I realize that the shame I felt was for looking at something I wasn’t supposed to be looking at.

You ever masturbate and then feel guilty for it because you know God is watching and he does not approve? That’s not a good vibe.

My point being, porn is a gateway to all those emotions of shame and guilt. More so if you’re in a committed relationship and your partner frowns on it.

Is it cheating if you hide it? Answer this for me, men and women, do you consider porn cheating? If so, why?

I am curious as to why:

Why watch porn?

Why watch porn and hide it?

Why watch porn when you’re in a committed relationship?

Why?

Men and women, what’s the big draw? Besides the obvious getting off.giphy1

This post contains a lot of questions for you, my reader,  so feel free to share your truest thoughts and opinions without remorse. (Safe space!) Thanks in advance!